There has been a great deal of shifting and changing occurring. I see the image of a giant sifter, lots of things passing through, with a few larger, undesirable chunks left behind.
It has been a time of particularly uncomfortable self scrutiny as I measure how I fit in today’s world, feeling much like an Andy-of-Mayberry “Sarah, ring the filling station for me!” phone, as compared to an Apple Watch.
Mandalas help me process and so I began this small piece on grey paper. I love the way that line collects and weaves itself together to form design and pattern. I’m grateful that it can make sense of what mystifies and overwhelms me. This entire piece was created from nothing but lines, with pen, pencil and marker, hence the title “Out of Line”. Yes, I love words too, and how the meaning can blur and blend, intimating different messages in different circumstances.
I have always relied on lines to contain my images, and certain basic rules to define my life, but it seems now like all of that is changing. I am learning that life is not as I have thought it to be and at the same time taking classes with a teacher who asks me to paint first and add lines later…maybe.
“Regrets” shows this style, and although I am somewhat pleased with the eventual result, I found it BEYOND challenging to step out into the visual unknown without a line to lead me. This is not new and I am receiving the message repeatedly that it is time to let the lines go, see Whispers of the Goddess. I still seem to feel a need to see my vision defined externally before I can render it. Dissolving this pattern has been experienced as quite the struggle, and I am ready to let that go as well.
For the next assignment, we were asked to see what an already painted canvas suggested to us visually, and then to “sculpt it out”, much as Michelangelo (allegedly) saw the angel within the marble and then set out to free it.
I didn’t so much “see” the cat as know it was in there, so I was able to allow it to take shape, to a certain point, and then I was stymied by the need to see reference material so I could find my way to the completion of it, again reaching outside myself for permission to express. I did find what I was looking for and “Turquoise Kitty” feels successful to me.
My journey into the uncharted and unlined territory will continue, and when I need comfort and security, I will always return to the mandalas and soothing gift of line.