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Hearts in Hiding

Hearts in Hiding

Hearts in Hiding

I went on a blind date a few weeks ago, first one in thirty-five years or so, and the results were mixed.  I met a very nice man, had a good meal and enjoyed some authentic conversation.  As the evening progressed, it seemed we had a great deal in common, the recent loss of parents due to dementia, the recent loss of long-time beloved pets, heartbreak due to relationships ending and the multiple challenges of rapidly shifting life situations.  As more was shared, I found myself wondering…”what am I doing trying to date someone?”  I still feel too broken and shattered.

How can this be so?  My life has not been so tragic, certainly I am not facing the losses that many do right now, my heart aches for all those who have lost or are in danger of losing their homes and their loved ones to the infernos raging across the west.

My divorce in 2000 seemed civil enough, my ex-husband went on to marry and has been so successfully for fifteen years now.  I thought surely I would find another to compliment and share my life.  In 2007 I was told during a healing session, “your heart is closed”.  I was in utter disbelief, and the “Open Heart Mandala” was created as a result…

Open Heart Mandala

Open Heart Mandala

Here it is 2015, and as I review the game tapes of the blind date, I feel that my heart must still be in hiding.  It is not unnatural, after multiple shipwrecks on Relationship Island, I hadn’t realized how reluctant I am to try again.

The “Hearts in Hiding” mandala helped me process and clarify my feelings.  I hope it will provide help and comfort to all who are grounded due to FOG, (Fear, Overwhelm and Grief).

Filed under: Dating, Healing Art, Loss, Mandalas

About the Author

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As a Phoenix native, Vikki Reed's vibrant watercolors of desert botanicals evolved from her love and appreciation of the desert's ability to produce tender beauty in the midst of harsh conditions. The mandala series which began in 2004 resurrects a childhood knowledge that mandalas are a primordial tool for centering and healing. Vikki studied in the 1980s with watercolor greats Irving Shapiro and Paul Kuo, and began exhibiting at the outdoor shows in Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico after Paul's encouragement. This led to gallery representation with the Wickenburg Gallery and Work of Artist's Gallery. Vikki also exhibited at the Celebration of Fine Art for eight years. Before taking sabbatical to act as caregiver for her father in 2010, Vikki was featured in a one woman show at the Northern Trust Bank in January 2008 and was selected to create an ornament for the White House Christmas Tree that same year. Vikki's current focus, the Mandala Series, combines ancient symbolism and the healing power of color.

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