comment 1

Liberation

Liberation Altar

I usually write about adventures while creating art (paintings), but today, as my phone blows up with messages from friends and acquaintances struggling with all manner of issues; relationship conflict, grief, loss, indecision, crippling self-doubt, fear about the future, and so on…I was asked to create an altar.

Forgiveness was what first came to me as the theme, but as I settled into the stillness for guidance, it was “Liberation” that wanted to express, and make itself available.  The “Liberation Mandala”, painted almost ten years ago, features the story of its creation, beginning January 23, 2010 with the words…”If I believe my jailer is anyone but myself, I can begin by disregarding that notion.”

While that statement might meet with loud protests, the familiar concept of choosing to be a victim or a creator is present here, with the option of choosing to reclaim one’s power when viewing any situation or perhaps better stated, rising up for the Eagle’s Eye view, seeing things from a higher perspective.

From the I Ching (Brian Browne Walker) “The Higher Power uses conflicts and obstacles to teach us lessons that we refuse to learn in an easier way, but they only darken our doorstep until we accept and acknowledge the lesson.”

It is often easier to believe in an outside villain, rather than coming to terms with the awareness that our suffering is for the most part self inflicted, or even if initially inflicted by others, self-perpetuated.  See The Work by Byron Katie.  But with the willingness to examine this also comes the freedom and power to liberate oneself from the old stories and limiting patterns.  One recently discovered tool for this is The Emotion Code, (in which I have recently become certified), but you can also use this technique on yourself.

This altar is created with the hope and intention that a reassuring energy will exude, that you will gently and lovingly find ways to accept liberation and let go; of old stories, the pain, struggle, limiting patterns, and fear…opening ever wider instead to a glorious new existence where miracles are the order of the day.

From the Course in Miracles (message for THIS day!)  “Perhaps it is not yet clear that each choice you make is one between a grievance and a miracle.  Each grievance stands as a dark shield hiding the miracle it would conceal.  Even on examination you will not see the miracle beyond, yet all the while it waits for you in the light.”

May your perception shift more and more toward seeing the miracles that are yours.

comments 4

Green Light

Green Light

The process of “Green Light” was so remarkable to me, I feel compelled to write about it, if for nothing else than to remind myself  how cathartic and magical the process of painting authentically can be.

In another lifetime (2008) I was offered a show (at Northern Trust Bank) for which I needed to provide 50 original pieces.  I had a great body of desert landscape/botanical pieces, some mandalas, and I was just developing a line of “Plane Air” pieces, inspired by flying over New Mexico and seeing the patterns of the farm land.  Although I was highly entertained by the Plane Air series, it remains my least popular work.  I knew it was time to give “Divided Land” a new lease on life…Divided Land

I turned the piece from horizontal to vertical and went to town, freely applying both white and black gesso, and used some newly discovered chalk paint and foam stamps.  It was FUN!

GL base

In keeping with my recent intention to paint what wants to be seen, be directed by the piece, I was delighted to see a face in the painting, it is about a third of the way down, I used line to show it here…

GL Face-edited

It was easy to find reference to support what I already saw and the face took shape on the painting.

 

GL Face begins

Things were progressing well, except that I was not liking what I saw!  Not only in the painting, but in life.  Parallel themes were running, message being, “this isn’t right”, “you’re not good enough”, “why can’t you get this?”  All the magic had disappeared, I was experiencing disappointment, disillusionment, self doubt and some very painful self judgment.

GL-not right

What happened to the exuberance and freedom of just last month when I was feeling on top of the world, Riding the Rainbow ?

Suddenly I was feeling like I hit some unseen bump and my iridescent steed galloped away without me, leaving me bruised and battered, face down with a mouth full of mud.

The feelings of frustration and failure were truly excruciating.  I had to walk away for a few days…I considered changing the name of the piece to “Me and My Shadow”…then, drastic measures were in order.

GL gessoed

I had to have a fresh start.  I really struggled to understand what was happening and how I could get to a better feeling place.  A friend said to me, “You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable”…YES!  That was it.  I was attempting to outrun my feelings of fear, failure, unworthiness…I could not tolerate my SELF!  When I calmed down and sat with what was, acknowledged, accepted, allowed…the desperation softened and I could return to work, eventually finding a satisfying outcome.

Green Light

So once again, I present, “Green Light”.  I SO appreciate what she taught me. “Be willing to look back, but without attachment.  Find satisfaction (at least acceptance) with what is, and the YOU that you currently are, freeing  yourself to create even more, without angst, grasping, proving, or concern about what is ahead.  Trust in a beautiful unfoldment, ease and elegance.  You have the green light.”

 

 

 

comment 1

Riding the Rainbow

Riding the Rainbow

Life is pretty great right now.  There aren’t many dilemmas, probably the biggest challenge I face is choosing a subject when I want to paint.  I got the message a few years ago that I was being asked to “paint what wants to be seen instead of what I see”, and for a (recovering?) control freak and rule follower, admittedly this is easier said than done.

I few months ago I learned about sigils and thought that was the greatest thing EVER, so I made a sigil for “I have a satisfying intimate relationship with my Inner Being”.

sigil-rough

I love that idea, but the painting was a mess and was not doing anything for me…Sigil-Inner Being

so I kept adding paint and pattern and waited.  Finally, I felt the idea of a horse nudge me, I found a suitable reference and began to paint.  As the horse took shape, I was having fun and this morning I heard the name of the painting drop in…”Riding the Rainbow”.  I googled it just for giggles and what to my wondering eyes (and ears) did appear but a YouTube video featuring Elvis singing a song that could be the Vikki Reed theme song.

While Elvis is singing, he repeatedly fiddles with the radio dial, which I interpret as his desire to strengthen the signal, be in greater resonance with the channel of his choosing, clearly receive the “Divine Broadcast” as my Dad would say with a grin and a twinkle in his eye.  Since my other preoccupation right now is Biofield Tuning, that seems deliciously uncanny.

 

The song makes reference to a heart open to connecting, but also being completely fine with being alone, “being alone don’t bother me…”I’m free to have fun, it’s fun to be free”, and this short but sweet mantra, “I’m living to love, I’m loving to live”.

Bashar says synchronicity is a form of abundance.  I agree and I feel wealthy with delight.  When things like this occur, it’s hard for me to contain myself, I want to share the marvel of what has happened, the joy of knowing that the Universe is conspiring on my behalf, and seriously, yours too, when you take time to observe.

It would appear that the sigil has worked its magic, and that I do indeed have a satisfying, intimate relationship with my Inner Being!  I wish you the same, along with abundance and synchronicities galore!

comment 0

The Power of Patience

The Power of Patience

It’s been quite awhile since I posted any writing, I’ve been focusing on painting, playing, living and harmonizing (or tuning).  This piece has a story, though, of course they all do, but I am actually motivated to put this one to paper.

Years ago, when I was even more eager to please others than I am now, I was asked for some artwork by an establishment that was in the business of physical therapy.  Good exposure for you, they said, as is often suggested.  I brought them several pieces and even painted a custom piece for them for a specific wall, titled “Every Which Way”Every Which Way - website

They enjoyed it for many years until one day, I received a phone call asking me to come collect all my art, they were updating their look.  I can’t say I received the news graciously, but nonetheless, I had a canvas back that no longer had a home and the time seemed right to give it a fresh face.

It’s been a good six months since I started the piece, I played with it until it gave me some sense of direction, I “saw” the mountain lion and began to paint her in.  She has not felt right to me until I “finished” her today.  Why title this piece “The Power of Patience”?  Because the pieces of my puzzle are starting to fill in now.  I’m no longer sad that “Every Which Way” was, ahem, released.  I find myself trusting in solutions even when they don’t reveal themselves in the moment.  I feel less of a need to prove myself an artist with the success of each piece I paint, in fact, I often gesso over them now and start again.  There is less restlessness and more satisfaction present in my life, at long last…oh, “The Power of Patience”!

comments 4

Follow Your Heart

Follow YOur Heart framed

Well it happened again, a confluence of events so synchronistic that my mind and heart are blown wide open.

Sunday, just after I returned from a replenishing Qi Gong retreat, a collector came to the house to pick up a purchased piece of art.  She was drawn instantly toward the piece you see above, “Follow Your Heart”, and she asked, “Is this for sale?”

I hemmed and hawed a bit, this piece was painted as the t-shirt design for the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk in 2007, the year my mom succumbed to that disease after her eighteen year journey through it, and it has hung in my home ever since.  I told her the story (briefly) and felt the grief rise up again, along with a curious hesitation to agree to the sale.

Two days later, (Tuesday) on short notice, a friend going to India asked if I wanted to send anything with her to leave “in the river”…hmm…quickly I heard, “release your grief, open to give and receive joy”, perfect!  I grabbed the “Return to Innocence”, “Liberation” and “Joy” mandalas for her to take and described my intention to move from grief to joy.

From Grief to Joy

Wednesday I had some driving to do and I opened YouTube so I could listen to Abraham  as is my habit.  What’s this?  Abraham Hicks – “From Grief to Joy”…seriously?  I listened to the hour plus long recording, marveling over and over again.  “Grief and bondage are identical vibrations…what you are seeking is freedom!”

Flashback to the early 2000s when I was seeking healing through EFT, utilizing the keyword approach.  My keyword?  Freedom

Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose
Nothin’, don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free,   (Janis Joplin)

I came home and let my dear collector know, that “Follow Your Heart” is hers.  I know it will bring her joy and represent something completely different to her as it lives in her home.  I am abundantly ready to move from grief to joy.

 

comments 6

Undeniable

Undeniable 2018

There are times when the convergence of synchronicity and timing are so astonishing, one finds it overwhelming to express in one simple post.  At the same time, writing a book or novel has never been my dream, so let’s do our best to distill all these elements down into a potable brew and sip away.

It was July of 2016 when I felt the strong urge to begin the “Heart and Soul Mandala”.  It developed quickly, the “heart” portion of the piece taking shape in a few short days.  July 5th of that year, life changed dramatically when my lovely friends next door, a beautiful couple expecting their first baby in a few short months, experienced tragedy, resulting in only the husband left behind, mama and baby are gone.

Heart and Soul with leaves

This event knocked me to my knees in ways that are hard to describe.  As a result, the “Soul” portion of the mandala was never completed.

September of 2016 brought a rather savage attack on my right (painting) hand by a dog, (Thor) and there was a sudden shift, a leaving behind of both watercolor and the mandalas, then the discovery of a new teacher, Kathy Taylor, and a new medium, acrylic.

2018 has brought a fascination with painting women, strong beautiful women.  I rediscovered a book already in my home on pre Raphaelite art.  Studying further, down the rabbit hole one evening, if you will, I found that Dante Gabriel Rossetti, who is credited with founding the pre Raphaelite movement, had written a short story about an artist who, after suffering much disillusionment, discovered that his soul appeared to him as a beautiful woman.  He learned then that the only true task for an artist is to paint as a soul, for the soul, and “doest all work from thine own heart simply”.

This for me begs the question, “Are these recent paintings the “Soul” portion of the “Heart and Soul Mandala”?”  I believe the answer is, “Yes”.

Concurrently, we have the theme of the outlandishly grotesque patriarchy throwing a tantrum when confronted with the long silenced voices of the increasingly empowered feminine, who are no longer willing to remain compliant.  I too, endured the misfortune of  unsolicited sexual advances, beginning at age 5 when I was violated by a neighbor boy, then told, “Say nothing, if you do, they will know you are bad.”  This was not an isolated incident, and I believe that the majority of women have had similar experiences.

I finished this painting, “Undeniable”, today, the same day that our government voted an entitled, unwise, impatient and biased man to be a Supreme Court Judge for the rest of our lives.

Look into her eyes…she is not to be trifled with.  Injustice has occurred, but we are not victims, we are creators.  We will receive what has happened and make our way through it, but make no mistake, the old paradigm is falling away and a new day dawns, one where the empowered feminine and the balanced masculine love and create together…and there is no place for the distorted masculine…you should know, gentlemen, your days in power are numbered.

 

 

comment 0

“I See Hope”

I See Hope

When challenge presents in life, such as a difficult diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, the ending of a career or relationship, the struggle looms so large.  It is natural to see only what is “wrong”, the tangible representations of love, health or success  that no longer feel present, all that seems lost or no longer possible, the joy that has faded.  As focus narrows squarely to the problems at hand, any glimmer of solution or positive outcome can recede from view.

In considering the design for the Memory Walk Lapel Pin this year, I asked to see the pins from past years, and the shoes featured for 2014 appeared to me as a dragonfly.  A wonderful symbol of transformation and adaptability, the dragonfly also represents connection to the world of spirit, and the ability to access higher perspectives.

The wings of the dragonfly feature torn images from past Memory Walks.  The collage and layering are symbolic of life evolving, things are torn and covered over, and yet, new beauty emerges.  As the piece developed, I was guided to place the word “Hope” prominently near the dragonfly.

Some theorists suggest that problems and solutions are born at the same time, and that focusing exclusively on the dilemma prohibits the awareness of solutions.  As we broaden our perspectives to include the possibility of positive outcomes, new ideas will present, and gifts can be found even in the midst of trials.

“I See Hope” is a tangible reminder that even in the darkest of times, the choice of seeing hope is available, and making this choice again and again unleashes unlimited positive potential.

comment 1

Changing the Past

Changing the Past

Is it possible to change the past?  If you have had conversations with siblings and/or friends, and honestly relayed and listened to each other’s accounts of the same event, you know that what you remember may differ.  Who is remembering correctly?

When this piece began I did not know what it would be about, but I felt compelled by this woman’s gaze…As the piece developed, I realized it was about changing the past.  But Vikki, what does that mean?  Surely the things that have happened to me and affected me deeply, they left a mark, especially the woundings.  Yes…but here’s the thing,  as life progresses, and perspective shifts, these events can come to be viewed in a different way.

I’m studying Biofield Tuning right now, a method which uses tuning forks in the energy field, to free up “tangles in the photons”, static left behind by traumatic events, so that the light that is contained within can be returned to the central energy channel, and put to use in more effective ways by the entire system, rather than creating reactive chaos in the energy field, leaving one vulnerable to triggers of past trauma and pain.  The result is to begin integration of past experiences and find empowerment in all that has been lived.

There are several elements of the painting that move, intrigue and inspire me.  What do you see in her eyes, is it fear, sadness or resolve?  She is clearly from another time, but isn’t time just a construct?  Who sits on her shoulder?  I have always felt a responsibility to know the answers, and the discomfort that arises when I do not has challenged me again and again this year.  A wise friend advised me to “respond to not knowing with curiosity instead of fear”.

It seems to be a time of not knowing for almost everyone.  A time when we are being asked to “let go of what we know”, so that our experience and consciousness can expand.  I don’t know about you, but for me, it can feel more terrifying than exhilarating.

May your past make sense to you in new ways that find you feeling blessed by all you have experienced…tragic, painful or joyful, and may your present find you curious and excited about what is and what is becoming.

 

 

comment 1

“I’m Listening”

I'm Listening

 

2018 has proven to be a year of rapid, often unsettling change accompanied with awarenesses that some troubling issues I thought had been resolved have in fact only been hiding below the surface.  This is proving to be true not only internally, but socially, on a large scale as well.

The frantic pace of life can be very unbalancing.  It seems to cause me to look outside myself for reassurance, answers, indications that solutions will come…only to be disappointed which serves to raise anxiety levels/the need for comfort even more.

Over the years I have learned that when I am triggered in these extreme ways, it is often an internal aspect of me that is reacting in the present to a trauma that can be decades old.

The painting, “I’m Listening” offers an exquisitely beautiful reminder that the wisdom and true reassurance we seek can be found when we become still and listen.  The woman sits quietly with her eyes closed as the bird conveys loving messages.  Looking closely, you will see that the word “love” has come to rest on her right shoulder.

“I’m Listening” not only refers to (and recommends) becoming quiet and listening to God/Source/Spirit…but also to the Inner Aspects that may have been ignored for too long.  If this resonates with you, please listen when these young voices  cry out, whether it is in fear, in anger, in defiance, or pleading for love and attention.  Listening to, honoring, loving and accepting these aspects, letting them know you hear them and you are with them, committed to keeping them safe now, will bring a healing, magical quality to your life that will astound you.

Go ahead, “I’m Listening”…

comments 2

Holy Ground

Holy Ground

The year of revelations continues (see The 411) and the qualities of life during the creation of this painting helped me unearth and digest even more.

Once again, I feel the need to acknowledge with deep gratitude the gift of Kathy Taylor and her Center for Creative Development (aka Studio 6020).  Tuesday’s class helped begin this piece, the “lesson” was to apply some heavy texture, which is present in the trunk of the tree.

I chose to work on trees as they have been a source of fascination for me, becoming the subject of some of my earliest pieces.

1971 From 1971…

In addition, I had just participated in a meditation suggesting that if we want to remember what it is like to be “wild at heart”, we should begin by listening to the trees.  This is not relegated to the woo-woo category any longer, with the practice of “Forest Bathing” now scientifically proven to improve your health.

There is also the growing awareness of “Earthing” and the rediscovery that having bare feet on Mother Earth brings our souls (and bodies) back to center.  There are those that believe that the rubber soled shoes most of us wear the majority of the time disconnect us from the primordial pulse of the earth which our bodies seem to crave.

The light shining behind the tree trunk represents soul, Source Energy for me.  The roots descend deeply into the earth, the trunk rises up, splits into a “V for Victory”,  branches then reaching for the heavens, with light illuminating much of the tree.  Another sweet remembrance of my Dad pops in as one of his favorite nicknames for me was “Fig Tree”.

Tangentially, life was offering me many “shituations”, ongoing kitty poop problems with a rescue, uninvited critters in my house, car repair issues, gallery conflicts, ginormous business decisions…what a gift to be able to return to my roots and rest on Holy Ground, reminded that taking time to rest quietly with Mother Earth (and the trees) can help restore the weariest, most frazzled soul.