It will probably sound vain and naive, but I fancied myself as a sort of public servant, creating art that (ideally) holds healing space, soothes, uplifts and inspires. I felt a sense of purpose, first creating the desert landscapes and botanicals with their vibrant colors, then the mandalas, as deliberate energetic ambassadors and now the acrylics with their own magic…art with a mission!
I am slowly coming to realize that the entire journey has been for me, all the art and specifically the process of creating, for my healing, my connection, my expansion. This is difficult because I want to pretend that what I do is for others, my self worth seems to still depend on what I’m providing.
Shaman ‘s Gift began in painting class in January at the Center for Creative Development (Studio 6020) and although compelling, I was not thrilled with the visual results.
A week ago Saturday I had a session with an intuitive that began in a very unexpected way. He instantly and fervently spoke of the mandalas and how they are sacred geometry, vibrational messages in the Language of Light. He went on to say that they are more than two dimensional and offer the opportunity to open inner gateways within the brain.
There was a great deal more to the session and if you would like your own experience, you can find Paul on his website, Polaris AB. I came away with a renewed commitment to my art and my evolution. Then Paul relayed these words, a direct message from my high self, “Change control to flow, change judgment to acceptance, change impatience to peace.” Whoa! As those words entered my consciousness, I felt a great weight leave my chest and a new expansiveness take its place. Paul further suggested that I create a painting expressing these messages.
It felt inspired to create this piece and I knew I was painting it just for me. I decided to paint over “Shaman’s Gift”, still knowing what was underneath the new creation…
Layers and layers of paint, collage paper and scratching. Pushing and pulling the design. Yesterday I really invested, tearing tiny bits of paper to apply here and there. I felt wonder and amazement at the time I was willing to invest, in this painting just for me.
I don’t feel I’m expressing it well, but the message is clear. What you’ve been seeking on the outside is only available within. What you seek to provide others, you must provide for yourself first. Receive and enjoy your own gifts, (wow that feels weird to write).
So here it is, “Shaman’s Gift”, my painting for me, along with my new mantra and practice…”Moving from control to flow, judgment becomes acceptance and impatience melts into peace.”