Time in the studio has been scarce these days, not so much because of events I can blame, but because I am avoiding the discomfort of the unknown, not feeling my direction, stumbling rather than striding confidently through my creative work.
The value of being able to take classes at Studio 6020 is absolutely immeasurable as it provides the opportunity to paint with a wonderfully creative and supportive group of artists, most of whom are not artists for their day job, but are talented designers, musicians, real estate and business professionals. Under the direction of our “Pied Piper of Creativity”, Kathy Taylor, we are stretched and encouraged, and the group energy provides something else hard to define.
Last night was the first class of 2020 and I was feeling particularly world weary. I started the assignment with my usual cheery palette, but felt the inauthenticity of that pretty quickly and the colors began to mute. I reverted back to subject matter that is deeply familiar, a path and sparse trees. The painting began to reveal to me the depth of what I was feeling and I was not initially grateful.
As much as I like to stay on the lighter side of things, life is not all fairy dust and unicorn farts. Sometimes things happen that hurt; grief and sadness rise up, fear and anger burst in, and the feelings of desolation cannot and will not be ignored.
If I want to show up for all of my life, and I do, I must be willing to experience the occasional solemn season, in fact trusting that there is beauty in it, even if it is just to reveal by contrast the fullness of joy that will return when the season passes.